Chemical Romance
by Divinely Ethereal
Summary: Haibara gets analytical the only way she can;  analytical of herself, of Conan, of the dynamic between them, as well as other things. A largely metaphorical ramble, no cuteness, CoxAi, multi-chap...


**Chemical Romance**

_**A/N: Haibara gets analytical the only way she can. Plot bunny conceived from taking advantage of Haibara's rich bank of knowledge(Spec. of chemistry). Metaphorical Rambling. Multi-chap. Hopefully original.**_

_**Disclaimer: Not mine. Just taking a stroll in the labyrinthine corridors of her mind.**_

_**Ch 1 Themes: Equilibrium & Light**_

XxXxXxX

_Tic, Toc..._

So goes the bio-chemical clock, the sole indicator of the boundaries of physical existence( yours as well as his), and the one that suffers from more disruption than that caused by shifting plate tectonics, metreological elements, even the interfering magnetic fields that allegedly frame the Devil's Triangle, as you both morph, like human models of the common butterfly, from immortal children into quivering adults with severely taxed immune systems ( and half a dozen complimentary bullets, as in _your_ case), and back again in the time it should take for a ray of sunlight to reach the Earth.

_And that takes...eight minutes._

You both ride out such violent waves when they come for you, turning your gazes heavenwards and predicting with unnerving accuracy the exact instant at which the moon cycle will break, ushering in its promise of low tides and safe shores, however fleeting those latter may turn out to be.

Equilibrium, for the time being, is reached.

XxXxXxX

Kudo-kun knows all about achieving Equilibrium. A process that is part and parcel of his age-old deduction mania, he has become desensitized to its inner workings, like a diabetc who no longer registers the prick of the needle.

You passively watch as Kudo-kun slowly measures out the appropriate masses of the ingredients required to conjure up his chemical reaction; ingredients in the form of tiny scattered clues left for him by the perpetrators at their chosen crime scenes, then, all the while paying attention to the most infinitesimal of details, he pours the exact volume of logic into the test-tube of his mind, and the vehement hiss of brain matter that ensues carries with it the flawless deduction.

Perfectly Balanced. Perfectly Neutral. Like pure H2O; granting life to what has been until then an idea, allowing it to germinate into a healthy reality.

To you, Equilibrium is a concept to be hung in the halls of academia or demonstrated within the cool, controlled confines of experimental apparatii. You have no use for it in this sprawling wilderness that you inhabit; the glittering, gaudy, urban facade that has become the play-ground for your hide-and-seek of terror.

But as Kudo-kun's designated lab partner, you are obliged to do your part.

Your deft, nimble hands work their magic for him, but you yourself are left fighting the virulent fumes of noxious gas that are formed as a result; the cloud of negative energy that persistently pollutes your existence. In your mind's eye, you can only ever perceive the giant hydraulic press of doom looming closer, powerless to interfere with its complex mechanism.

Kudo-kun sees this, registers your foreign readings. He snaps on a fresh pair of white latex gloves, his own version of the superhero's cape, and deals with your personal crisis.

_Will the kiddie gloves ever come off?_

XxXxXxX

In the Holy Scriptures of those who subscribe to the Abrahamic religons, the two sons of Adam, Cain and Abel, are in constant competition for God's favour. On one occasion, overcome with rage that his sacrifice to God was being rejected for his brother's, Cain lures Abel into a field and bludgeons him to death. Out of the seeds of jealousy was thus born the first murderer as well as the first murder victim.

Kudo-kun is aware of this ancient account, dubious as it may seem to him. He takes away from it Cain's punishment and God's deterrent verdict on future murderers, both of which function to re-inforce his own unshakeable moral standing on the subject of murder.

What Kudo-Kun fails to grasp, you are quick to establish, is God's own role in encouraging Cain's deviance. Not only does God nourish the ill-will wrought by the sibling rivalry, but, in the immediate aftermath of the murder and the sheer panic that follows, he shows Cain how to get rid of the evidence: Cain is inspired to dig a hole in the earth, place his slain brother within it, then cover it up, after watching a raven-of all things- bury one of its own kind.

You are astute enough to avoid entangling yourself in the thorny bush of idealogical analysis any verbal discussion with Kudo-kun on the subject will bring, although you do spend a whole day juggling huge question marks on your countenance.

_Just which side of the morality coin are you on, God?_

However, more significant to your stream of consciousness than society's first incident of murder is humanity's discovery of its first source of Light: Whatever did flash through the hulking, hirsute caveman's underdeveloped mind when he rubbed two wooden sticks together and, by sheer accident, the first sparks shot out? Did he turn his apelike head towards the heavens and grunt in triumph? Did he perhaps point the Neanderthal equivalent of today's 'finger' in the general direction of a god that plunges his entire world into darkness whenever it chooses, to signify the first sign of his independence from its divine whims? Is it any wonder that people in the dark ages chose to worship fire, the sun and the stars instead of the entity that created them?

Without the Light, you conclude, man cannot see the end of the tunnel, let alone the omnipotent presence known as God.

XxXxXxX

The Light in Kudo-kun is a thick, stubborn layer of fluorescent material. It can come in all the vibrant colours of the Newtonian spectrum, can latch itself onto almost anything. You can find it in the mischievous gleam in his eyes, the bright white of his self-assured smile; you can find it in the most commonplace of objects that he touches, the very air that he breathes . The Light in Kudo-kun is a feast for the senses, an insurmountable wall of resistance, a glimmer of Hope in the deepest pits of darkness, a medium for projecting the photographic film of Truth.

To you, the Light in Kudo-kun is indispensable.

_To deserve it or not to deserve it, that is the question..._

The paradox in your case is that the emotional vacuum within you is what contributes to your own form of Light. It allows the filament of your bulb to function, and you burn with a rare incandescence that unsettles the senses and draws attention all unto itself. The intense heat emitted by the process is your one self defence mechanism, and you cannot help burning those who come into contact with you, just as the porcupine cannot help pricking with its sharp quills those foolish enough to touch it. You continue to lack a ready strategy of attack, however, largely because, after all is said and done, you are still made of fragile glass, and so much has already been made of the folly of those who live in glasshouses yet choose to throw stones.

Yet your Light has one final, sinister trick up its sleeve. The moment it crosses a certain threshold of intensity, it will cause your glass shell to explode, converting the shower of shards into a spray of deadly missiles that tear everything in their path to shreds.

Your one true fear is that Kudo-kun, by some circumstance or another, should happen to be standing in that path.

_Better to invite the Darkness, then, and shed the Light..._

XxXxXxX


End file.
